It Is Now a Crime to Unlock Your Smartphone

This is now the law of the land:


ADVISORY

BY DECREE OF THE LIBRARIAN OF CONGRESS

IT SHALL HENCEFORCE BE ORDERED THAT AMERICANS SHALL NOT UNLOCK THEIR OWN SMARTPHONES.

PENALTY: In some situations, first time offenders may be fined up to $500,000, imprisoned for five years, or both. For repeat offenders, the maximum penalty increases to a fine of $1,000,000, imprisonment for up to ten years, or both.

"You will do what you are told. You own nothing, even when you buy it. You will be our slave bitch. AND YOU WILL LIKE IT."