The real American Constitution

Preamble

The rich and powerful, who know better how to run this world, have ordained that all citizens are vassals of the state and of their collective will. You are not a person. You have no soul. You have no rights, save what we determine for you. The country is a collective that exists to serve us. Be happy in your work. You live to serve the state. Welcome to the New World Collective.



Article One
You will do as you are told. Especially when it contradicts common sense, family values, self-determination, and kindness to others. Erase original thinking from your consciousness: it is strictly forbidden.

Article Two
Any disobedience to the constitution or other laws will result in your immediate "re-education" at one of the hundreds of "work camps" throughout the country and overseas. Terms of enlistment at such camps are from 5 to 50 years, depending upon the severity of your crime(s).

Article Three
Your children belong to the state. Get that through your fat, diabetic, obese head right now. They belong to us and we can take them at will, "educate" them, and force them into whatever activity or military reality we see fit. Your children will be rotated out of your family every 24 months for their own good. They are not your children. They never were. They are ours. You are ours.

Article Four
Your diet will consist of whatever sawdust, cancer causing chemicals, and GMO poison we have on the shelves. Any deviation of this will result in an Article Two.


Article Five
Remember your place. You are alive to serve the state. Obey diligently and live.

Article Six
You have no future. Any future will be decided by the state based upon your eager usefulness to your masters.

Article Seven
You own nothing. All items such as clothing, furniture, housing, and transportation belong to the state. Make that plastic junk last, because you will only get one per person, of any item, every 5 years.

Article Eight
You will salute or give obeisance to your betters at all times and immediately. Any hesitation of this article will result in an Article Two.

Article Nine
The work week is 70 hours, including weekends. Your time belongs to us, and any infringement upon this will result in an Article Two.

Article Ten
You have the right to serve the state. You have the right to only discuss and agree with state-approved topics as given to you by the state controlled media. You have the right to obey without question all instructions given you by your betters. You have the right to breed, only if approved by the state-run citizen fitness department. You have the right to be medically experimented upon, twice a year. You have the right to have a two-week vacation every five years at the state-approved facillity in Leavenworth, Kansas. You have the right to worship the dark lords and will do so 3 times daily. You have the right to be a sycophant. You have the right to be an eager and willing stooge of the state. You have the right to get sick and die; medical attention will no longer be available for citizens. You have the right to be compliant and grateful that we allow you to live. Failure to adhere to this Article will result in an Article Two.

Article Eleven
You will always leave your "media control screen or TV" on at all times. You will be unable to lower the volume or turn it off. Disabling said media screen will result in an Article Two.

Article Twelve
Worship of "God" is strictly forbidden. Failure to adhere to this Article will result in an Article Two. Only the dark lords will be worshipped and served. Follow the example of the Royal family, our holy leaders, in all spiritual matters.

Article Thirteen
There will be tribunals to determine the severity of your punishment as determined by action and/or thought crimes as dictated by the government.

Article Fourteen

You are a disgusting, useless mongrel dog. Be mindful of this at all times. The order of the day is, if in doubt, kill yourselve and better the collective. Your greatest service to us.

OBEY. SERVE. BE GRATEFUL.

painfully drafted by Don Bradley