How you see yourself

I used to know this guy a long time ago who used to tell anyone he would meet, "I went to the same High School as Elvis Presley!"

It was sad.

See, for people who base their self-esteem and self-image upon how others see them, and then seek approval of others so as to exalt themselves in the eyes of others, indicating to everyone but themselves that their identity is in a shambles. In short, they need the pedastal lift and are actively needing, wanting, others to think that some oblique, distant connection to someone important or famous somehow makes them "special" and therefore better than everyone else around them.

And there's the crux. This kind of failure of mind and identity believes that others must think something special - especially if the boost is fraudulent or contrived - in order for them to feel whole and gain the approval of others. Secretly, in their heart of hearts, they realize subconsciously they are scoundrels and have to replace that with a false mask which is presented to everyone for approval.

By the late 1990s I had an ego wall. It was filled with college degrees, teaching credentials, engineering degrees, awards, honors, letters and pics from very famous people, ad nauseoum. It actually filled TWO walls. All before the age of 40. By anyone's standards, it represented an amazing life of accomplishment, most of it attained before the age of 35.

In 2005, I burned all but three of them. A couple of degrees to give to my sons. The rest went into the fireplace.

You see, one day I realized that all that blather didn't matter. It wasn't who I was and had nothing to do with the real Don or what was in his heart. It was just a bunch of bench markers of points in my life.

So what.

They didn't mean anything.

Who cares.

Certainly not I.

I still run into people with this same problem. They believe that because they used the same bathroom as some other dead person, that makes them special. Whether it's being related to some dead ancestor or some gold star they got in grade school as a child.

It does not. Nothing does.

What makes you special is what makes all of us special. Being who we are on Earth, with every chance to be wonderful people with good hearts. That makes you special.

Nothing else.

Not what you have, have done, or where you have been. Those are just bench markers.

And referencing them to anyone just makes everyone with eyes to see how desperate you are for your self-image to be pushed from where it really is.

It's better to look honestly at yourself in the mirror and do it.

As long as your reality is determined by the opinion of others, than you are DOOMED. You will never be free and will always be a slave to the group.

In short...

You'll just be yet another go-along-to-get-along droid with no mind of your own.

That...that is a wasted life.

Be a rose...rather than a thorn